Mission Statement and First Review

     Some of you who know me may be aware that I have a fairly simple system of reviewing restaurants. There are really only two categories that a dining establishment can fall into after I have gone there. Either I'll go there again, or I'll never go there again (granted, there is the gray area of "I'll go there again but only if someone else is paying" but that's a touchy moral dilemma I struggle with constantly). I will usually go on to elaborate and justify why I will or will not dine at whatever the place in question may be, but a lot of times it is unnecessary: either I'll go back, or I won't.
     Now, I know this may sound harsh. Waiters, Waitresses, Chefs and Managers are human beings, after all, and human beings make mistakes. I take this into account when arriving at my decision. And I don't usually complain. I feel if I have to complain that, say, my meal took over 45 minutes to come when the place wasn't even packed (see below) or that I haven't had a refill of water (an incident which will bring a meal to a halt) in a while, then I'll probably just never go back. Let's face it: Every meal out costs more than it should. Even a slice of pizza. I know there are operating costs, insurance, rent, and all kinds of overhead, but eating out is pricey. So, what it comes down to is this: Does the establishment in question make it worth it and enjoyable to be spending the money, or do they make you regret it?
     I take all factors into account when arriving at my decisions, but a lot of times it's one small thing that may tip the scales from one side to another. I know some people may deem me harsh, judgmental, arrogant, foolish, thickheaded, etc., but I hope to be able to justify my decisions. I am someone who doesn't eat out often but loves to, and when I do I love to eat a good meal, and when I don't it's fire and brimstone. Let's eat!

 

Online Menu (Not to be Trusted)

     

     Roberto's Dolce Vita, located on the Boulevard and 130th St.in Beach Haven Terrace. I'll never go there again.  I had never been to this restaurant, and thought it was strange that I hadn't since it has been around for a while, so we decided to got here for St. Valentine's Day. We arrived at 7:30, and had reservations for two, but still we had to wait for upwards of five minutes to be seated. No big deal. We sat, were greeted by our extremely friendly waitress, had our wine opened, and told the specials, which sounded really tasty. A small child who was giving it his all to be as proper as can be poured our water and brought us bread, which was good. One of the first things we noticed after opening the menu were the price differences between that physical menu and the menu we viewed online. I know prices shift, but the dish I ordered, the Vitello Saltimbocca, for example, was listed as $16.95 online. Come to find out all veal dishes are $24.00. That's a fairly big price difference, especially since we chose this place partly because it seemed decently priced. 

     Whatever. I looked past it, we ordered, had some wine, ate some bread, listened to the comically rowdy older group in the next room, and then the Calimari Fritti appetizer came out. It was good, fried to "golden perfection" as the menu described, not anything special but not bad either.

     Next out were the salads, a couple of measly piles of iceberg lettuce with one (1) grape tomato each and two thin slices of onion. Oh well. The lettuce was crisp at least, the dressing good and not dredging the vegetables. We ate, the plates were taken away, and we then we waited.

     And then we waited. It took almost an hour for our entrees to come out. After making mention of our wait to the waitress at about the 45 minute mark, she kindly said she was waiting on our food and would bring it out as soon as possible, adding that our appetizer would be free since we waited. When she walked by again, she said our desserts would be free as well. This made us feel kind of lousy, since it is my understanding in the restaurant industry that when a member of the waitstaff says something like this, often times it comes out of their own pockets, and it wasn't her fault that the food wasn't ready. 

     But anyway, so the food finally comes out. Jeannine got the seafood special, and I got the Vitello Saltimbocca. Saltimbocca, from the culinary encyclopedia Larousse Gastronomique, pg. 933:

     An Italian dish that is a speciality of Rome but originally came from Brescia, where the name     literally means "jump into the mouth". It consists of fine slices of veal fried in butter, topped with small slices of ham, flavoured with sage, and gently braised in white wine.

      The description on Roberto's Sweet Life menu: Scallopine sauteed with prosciutto, mozzarella and served over a bed of spinach. So not exactly traditional, but that doesn't bother me as I didn't know what it was to begin with. What did bother me was the absence of prosciutto on the veal, which would have added a necessary flavor that the dish clearly lacked. Also, Jeannine's seafood special was supposed to have portobello mushrooms, but, alas, it did not, which, while it wouldn't have bothered me if it was my dish, as I detest them, it broke her heart, and on Valentine's Day of all the days. 

     We told the waitress about this, making it clear it wasn't her fault but just bringing it to her attention, she was kind, and we ate minus the key ingredients, not wanting to wait for who knows how long until they got it right. 

     We then had cappuccino and dessert, which was OK but obviously the pre-made fare that haunts so many dessert menus. In the end, the best things about the restaurant were that the waitress was nice and that we only had to pay for our entrees. Maybe Roberto should pay a little less attention to the sweet life and a little more attention to his restaurant, because with so many major things going against it, I will never go there again.